I'm a 29 year old female in America. Of course I'm looking for a mate. A man to be my husband and the father of my children. But more importantly a man to offer me what I cannot find within myself. Something that I don't have and cannot get without him. The world: I have my own, he can live in it. Sex: I'm good. Money: I have a job and the means to earn income. A car: well if it's better that my little rinky dink we'll talk. But I still want something else. Something that I can't get from my girlfriends or family. I don't know how to explain it, but Bono said it right "I still haven't found what I'm looking for."
I've been working the retail game for sometime now and I honestly do feel like a monkey in their show. Holidays, what are those?! Weekends, never heard of them. A day when my phone doesn't go off, well, had hell frozen over yet?!
I do provide fantastic customer service. That's is something that I am very proud of. Rarely do I get a complaint, and if I do it's not because of my service, it's a policy, lack of merchandise or the customer wanting something that is impossible.
I'm also aware that my current state of unhappiness is in my hands. If you don't like something, change it, right?!
I had a conversation with one of my uncles this past Saturday. He worked at a newspaper for 30 something years and he said he loved it. "I would have done it for nothing, if I could have lived off of nothing." That's the kind of job I want. I don't want to hit snooze and dread the rest of my day.
On the morning of my 12th birthday, I woke up with an entire tv series in my head. It was creative, I felt like I was on fire. So I wrote it, with the help of one of my older sisters(who will have her first book published this going January). It felt amazing. I knew then that my calling was the written word.
So why have I abandoned my dream, my passion, the thing that makes me truly happy?! To work for the man and pay my bills. To make money for everyone but myself. Today that comes to an end. I'm not saying that I'm gonna walk our and quit today. But soon my office will be on my lap and I will find out how it feels to be alive and on fire with a dream. My dream.
I will live to write and write to live, and I won't regret a thing.
