Sweet Dreams

Another poem written ages ago. It stems from what I can kinda consider my only break up. But regardless it was still painful.

Sweet dreams

You don’t get to see me cry, my tears are not your souvenirs, you didn’t hold me tight when you lied, you weren’t there to love me when you cheated, I won’t give you the joy of watching me crumble like sand to the ocean, see this edge, I walked away because I’m like you, I can pretend it never mattered to me just like a river in another country that has yet to run dry, as you pull away know you were never part of me when you were inside my own, and now with a widowed heart and a shattered mirror I look foreword and away from the blood you bled when I bit your lips goodbye, sweet dreams liar of my heart

Megan Elizabeth Brown

3/8/07

Dont spike the punch

I wrote this a while ago, but now I feel like sharing everything!

Don’t spike the punch (your mama)

Don’t spike the punch, your baby sister’s gonna drink it tonight, don’t you know where she goes when your mama turns out the light, though the streets are filthy and the night is dark, she finds her way to the alley, she flirts and she works, and she needs to fight them off, so don’t spike the punch, your baby sisters gonna drink it tonight, in the morning she’s tired and can barely study, but her guilt helps the bills get paid, if your mama put the bottle down and gave half a care, your baby sister could be pure today, so, don’t spike the punch, your baby sister’s gonna drink it tonight, don’t you know where she goes when your mama turns out the light.

Megan Elizabeth Brown

3/30/07

recently

Ally and I went to San Francisco a couple of weeks ago



and this was the best thing we saw . . . .

What's up duck?

yeah, so I did see "he's just not that into you". Another movie about my life. I've been watching one movie in particular over and over though. But I'm ready to announce it to the world yet.

Started a new book based on the inspiration of the current book I'm reading, well the two current books.

Got in a pretty bad car accident last week. Not so good. Ally's 21st is coming up that should be buckets of fun. And thats about it. For now anyway.

I read a whole book in 3 hours

I read "he's Just Not That Into You". One of the best books I've ever read. I should have read it a couple years ago when my mom first showed it to me. YES, you ARE ALWAYS RIGHT, MOM!!
Boy, did it open my eyes. If I'm not worth a five sec text or phone call from him without my initiation, then he's not worth a second of my time. Buh bye, boys!!

Very satisfying, I can't wait to see the movie.

What I've been looking for

For the longest time I've said I don't know what I want to do with my life. But time after time I turn back to my writing. It has been the only constant in my life since I woke up the morning of my 12th birthday, well writing and Hanson. Yes, they are still alive and rockin'.
So, I'm gonna keep writing. I don't know how to do anything else as well. I was talking to my mom the other day and I said "I love to write but I'll never make any money at it or even get published." She looked at me and said "Why not? You never knoe until you try." And mom is right. She always is. (And I know she's probably the first and sometimes only person to read my blog, so thanks, Mom!)
I'm currently in the last few chapters of what will be my first complete book. I have a few others that aren't finished yet, but they will be. Then it's editing and proofing then ship it off to publishing agencies, then hopefully someone will take a chance and if dreams really do come true, I'll do more than just make coffee at Border's. I'm reading the book "See Jane Write". It's by a chick lit author and a chick lit publisher, so I figure they'll know better than me how to get my chick lit books somewhere other than my little 2G memory stick.

This year, of all my 23.5 years (as of tomorrow), seems to be more hopeful than the rest. I turned on the TV this morning just in time to watch President Obama get sworn in and then listen to his speech. I may disagree with the president on several points, but his speech was pretty inspiring to someone like me who felt like high school was the best I'd ever be. I don't know what it was, but I cried during his speech. I prayed for him and his cabinet and our country. For the first time in a long while, I feel like I really can do and be anything I want. Even in this crappy economy, with the bills/debt that I have, I don't feel as out of control as I had. But I also read that one of the authors of "S.J.W." (see above) made $7000 for her first book, and not that I would end up in the same situation, but hey that's enough for me to get off my lazy butt and research, write, read, wrote some more, edit, realize that some of what I wrote makes no sense, so re-write it, research some more, hide the characters who are based on real poeple well enough to keep them guessing, edit again, have some one else read it and not say it's crap, then send it off and try not to hold my breath. Well, I feel more hopeful than I did last week, that's all that matters.

Things start to look better

Before they look even worse. I know it's only the beginning of the year, but I'm done with it already. With the economy the way it is, there is almost no hope to do anything or even have a job at the end of the year. Yeah, no one's saying anything yet. But if store after store in the shopping center where I work closes, not to mention the main attraction, what else should I expect? Six years ago I was told that I could do anything and go anywhere. Some one deserves to good kick in the face, as everywhere I want to go closes or cost more than my life and everything I want to do will only cost more money than I will see in my life time. I mean really? Okay, so right now I'm just in a negative funk and want to shoot someone, cause no one seems to understand that only so much money comes in and only so much goes out. Yeah, I made several mistakes and got myself in a a little mess, I take responsibility. But even when I get out of one mess, everything else goes down the hole, you know the stinky one. Seriously, I will never get married and have kids at this rate, why bother looking?

This year

SO I had a way too fun New Years. But I was safe. I'm not one to believe in resolutions. Or at least follow through with them. SO this year I'm gonna make a month by month plan. So as soon as I have one I'll post it. But this year I will do somethings I've never done. Like date, oh yeah!! Anyway. More to come, like my recollection list of 2008! But I'm hungry and need to get dressed and such. Happy New Year!!!!

Ten things that drive me nuts right now

10. Everywhere I look all these young unmarried girls are pregnant and not bright at all and I'm smart want to get married and have kids and I've yet to have a boyfriend. This is the most evil irony.
9. People do not know how to drive in a parking lot to save their lives. First it's 5 miles an hour, PEOPLE. Second, if you don't see a spot keep moving, some people have places to be and time cards to punch.
8. Is it really my fault you waited to go last minute shopping without a plan and now you have nothing?
7. Stalking someone and giving them creepy smiles is NEVER okay!!
6. Seriously, it's cold and wet outside, you're really wearing shorts and flip flops? Yeah, hello 911 I've got a crazy person on aisle 9.
5. If you come into my coffee shop everyday, and everyday you get the same thing and you've already told me how to make it. DO NOT ASK ME IF I'M MAKING IT RIGHT THREE MORE TIMES! Or I may make it wrong. Hmm, was that decaf you said?
4. I guess I missed the memo, Apparently when you install/set up something you're only supposed to do it half way. Thanks.
3. Just because it's on a table with other sale items does not mean it's on sale. Especially if I juts told you sale items have big red stickers.
2. I know things can be stressful during the holidays, but if you yell at me one more time you'll be celebrating from a hospital room.
1. If you think my apartment needs to be vacuumed so bad, let me get you the vacuum while I go back to doing the half a dozen things I needs to do. I live her I get this place clean, I haven't vacuumed yet, but if it's such a priority to you, go at it.

Dating . . . .

Yeah, so I'm giving the whole on-line dating thing another shot. Especially since guys around here are jerks to say the least. So far so good, but I don't want to ruin anything with endless chatter about it here. So, just a brief update that all you get.